December 22, 2008 at 9:21 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: christmas, country, snow
Don’t do, just be. That’s my conclusion after tonight’s meditation session. I guess there is a lot of truth in the saying: “be the change you want to see in the world.” I was able to focus not just on my breathing but on the subtlies of my movements: the tiny vibrations in my hands and the position of my spine, right down to the beating of my own heart. My experience keeps changing each time I sit, but it’s intriguing and also I’m amazed by how comfortable it feels just to sit there doing nothing, perfectly at peace with myself. Since my parents are off work now, we’ve been doing it in the morning and night at 9:50. It basically keeps the whole day together like a thread. I’m also snowed in. Immersed in one whole foot of snow we trampled through a christmas tree farm near our house to try to glimpse a view of the valley, but instead we saw only snow-capped barren trees caught set amidst a romantically foggy backdrop. It is quite beautiful. But, at the same time I am trapped by this loveliness with nowhere to go, just like the song…”since we’ve no place to go…” Maybe I need to stop thinking about where to go. Snow defintely has a grounding effect forcing you to stay in this moment, this place, whether you choose to or not.
Christmas is coming. And the black bird is humming. Carols we sing. The clock goes bing bing.
I see snow. Santa said ho! ho! ho! It is a nice time of year. See me here!
My journal, December 21, 1988
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September 19, 2008 at 5:24 am (Thoughts)
Tags: ants, bucket showers, coming home, country, east, farm, past, west
Even better than a cup of hot water with a few drops of sugar drowned ants is the bucket showers I take each morning. It’s amazing how quickly a cold bucket shower can wake you up. It’s also quite meditative too: Filling the round filler cups with water from one of the two giant barrels in the bathroom and pouring the almost icy water down the top of my neck, letting it fall over me suddenly like a waterfall. I never thought two weeks ago I could do this and nearly returned to the city the moment I landed in this simple running water-free, insect-infested house surrounded only by open grassland and hills. But, it’s funny how you can get used to anything. I feel like I’ve gone back to some long-forgotten era of humanity. I’m learning about herbs, drying them and making pastes. I didn’t know what a mortar and pestle was until I had to grind up some fresh leaves to apply on a skin ailment. I’ve always wanted to go back in time and I suppose Asia, luckily still in some villages, is exactly this past with an oriental incense-infused hue and I’m starting to wonder how I’m going to be able to re-adjust to life in the West.
Yes, I’m coming to the United States in November after nearly one year in India and Southeast Asia and three months in France. I’m really looking forward to seeing my family and friends, but also nervous as usual and even more so because unlike Europe and Australia where there’s the lingering sense of familiarity, mighty Asia - as with so many other unsuspecting voyagers – has conquered me in many ways; down to my lifestyle and most steadfast habits and my personality, interests, so many things about me have changed – and not in a small way. So I hope all of you will still recognize me when I return: I will be the one wearing the mauve-coloured siphon Saree with long jet black hair braided with white jasmine mālā and a bright red bindi on my third eye, carrying a bundle of jungle vines without any shoes in the airport—so you can’t miss me!
Until then, I’ll go about my little life of traditional village chores and bucket showers, moving away to let the ants, lizards and snails stroll leisurely through the rooms of my humble lair. ~V
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