To Dine or Not to Dine..?

The other day I was invited to a dinner at my housemate’s classmate’s house. I was enticed by the obvious fact that it would be very traditional. Just an intimate setting in the house of a Libyan and his wife and little baby. I must say, perched upon my little pillow on a sheet that had been laid out on the carpet in the living room, being served a cornucopia of exquisite dishes: lamb, chicken, kus kus, some little dumplings and salad I felt like a queen. The only problem was the woman whose house I was a guest in was the servant. And not by choice.

I could not believe that the woman who had prepared all of this for everyone was forced to sit alone in the kitchen watching TV hidden behind a black shawl while the men and I had a lavish conversation and dinner. I don’t want to judge this, but I was so surprised and disturbed by this facet of arabic culture.

After dinner, where I admit I was scrutinized and instructed in the correct order and manner to eat each dish (hey, I lived in Spain so this is nothing new) and my hands were washed before and after for me, which I had never experienced, we then had some tea poured in the same style as one of my favourites, mint tea, a strangely black tea with that familiar overwhelming sting of sugar, which when met my mouth I was happy again.

We had successive cups of tea in tiny glass cups and a flavourful conversation about religion, our host taking the side of an open-minded moderate. But, your wife is locked up…We were not allowed to leave until nearly midnight with bursting tummies, and I bid farewell to the little 8 month-old daughter I already loved and I alone said goodbye to the wife as my housemate, was not allowed to even lay his eyes on her. Is this a form of flattery…Well, my mind was confused about these customs, but I suppose it’s not for my mind to grasp since there is nothing I can do to change things, or is there? I was grateful for this experience and for all of their hospitality, but left with a bittersweet taste I still can’t quite wash off.