So I’ve been in madrid for three weeks now. The city of the fast walkers, and nervousness! I never realized how nervous everyone is here, or maybe it just seems that way after being in a bit of a peaceful state, physically and mentally. People also are not in the moment, they walk rapidly not really paying attention to anything but their own thoughts and what’s directly infront of them. No one meets your eye, I suppose that’s just the way of this concrete world. People hate their jobs yet they are scared to travel anywhere for fear of losing them! Everyone is caught up in this daily grind and though I’m not there, I feel guilty for not wanting to live out my days like this. I suppose the office is an intriguing place for some, the thrill of accomplishment gotten from achieving a project or difficult assignment and the applaud and envy of boss and co-workers. It’s like its own little gladiator stadium, you do or you die. And now with the crisis and lost jobs many feel like they might as well sacrifice themselves to the lions, if only this was ancient Rome. I feel now more aligned with the spiritual path rather than the worldly one. As Amma, “the hugging saint,” said in Darshan:
Because there are two types of education: “Living,” meaning your job and “life” which the gurus teach. In the materialistic world teachers teach practical things. In the spiritual world some things aren’t clear.”
So I was taught to be practical and make a decent “living.” But I don’t really want that type of life, so instead I’m an impractical vagrant. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, I’m happy, but at the same time it makes me difficult to understand, which is fine with me. Others argue that I’m sloppy, I much prefered the Indian way of sitting and sleeping on little more than the bare dirty floor. People live in a world of fear I think. Scared of being poor or attacked by terrorists or their families and of dust, of the unknown and of other people’s thoughts. I wish we could live without fences, that there was no worry of thievery and of the sun burning us and of bad intentions. I suppose I am an over-trusting person, I don’t assume anyone would want to take anything from me, but like with everyone it’s happened a fair share of times – from my jacket to a mcdonald’s transformer to my purse – people have taken many things and I’ve also witnessed the grief of those who’ve had more than possessions, but irreplaceable journals and photographs, the remains of memories lost in time, so to speak. And so we have to be vigilant, even the tent in Bolonia had to be shut and tied up to keep the cats out. But I suppose I’d rather have less expensive possesions and less worry, less money and less choices of how to spend it, less drama with relationships and jobs and less chances of wasting my precious time on this earth. This life I feel truly is a gift, as the old Buddhist saying goes, we have less chance of being born as humans than a dolphin has of coming to the ocean’s surface through a ring. Now I want to embrace this life and be thankful for all the wonderful people I’ve encountered and so many unique experiences. I could write a thousand books about it. And not one would be boring. I don’t think boredom can exist, not when you realize the unlimited potential of this moment.
